DEPRESSION AND SUICIDE

DEPRESSION AND SUICIDE

                                                                                                                                         Stes de Necker

Introduction

Let me just start by saying that I am not a psychologist, much less a doctor. But years ago I went through the same hell of depression and was it not for the grace of Jesus, I would certainly not be sitting here writing today. Anyone who has not been affected by this disease will not know the hell such a person is going through. All possible and impossible negative thoughts take hold of you and pull you down to a point that will make you too tired to even get up in the morning. You simply are not physically able to get up out of bed!

This essay is not an attempt to give a scientific explanation of the cause and nature of this disease, but merely an attempt, as someone who has been through this experience, to share my experiences with someone who either themselves is struggling with this disease, or who knows someone who is currently struggling with this condition. These essays is meant especially for all of you, and believe me when I tell you, you have all my sympathy!

Was there something like depression in Biblical times?

The Bible is full of references to individuals who either suffered from depression, or who have experienced bouts of this condition.   

Abraham (Gen. 15), Jonah (Jonah 4), Job (The Book of Job), Elijah (1 Kings 19.), Saul (1 Samuel 16: 14-23), Jeremiah (The Book of Jeremiah) and King David, whom God loved: Psalm 6, 13, 18, 23, 25, 27, 31, 32, 34, 37-40, 42-43, 46, 51, 55, 62-63, 69, 71, 73, 77.84, 86, 90-91, 94-95, 103-104, 107, 110, 116, 118, 121, 123-124, 130, 138, 139, 141-143, 146-147. Read Psalm 38 in particular. David said in verse 11: "My heart racing, inspiration of my might, I cannot even see." 

Does this sound familiar?

But hear what King David says in Psalm 42 and 43: (Verse 12 and 5 respectively) "Why am I so in despair and why do I groan? Trust in God! Yes, I'll sing a song for him. He is my Saviour and my God”  

In Rom. 15: 13 Paul says: "May the God of hope, fills you with all joy and peace so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Later in Phil. 4: 4-7, Paul says "Rejoice always in the Lord! I will say it again: Rejoice! (5) Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. (6) Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, desires, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving to God. (7) And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will keep watch over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. "

It seems almost as if Paul knew the debilitating effects of depression and therefore did everything in his power to warn his followers against it. If anyone was vulnerable to depression, it was Paul.

I know only too well that the last thing someone who is already depressed wants to hear is how bad it is to someone else. "Well, that's nothing! Wait until I tell you what happened to me! "... As if you care at that time a dime! But here's the religious giant, Paul, despite his all-encompassing faith in Jesus Christ, earnestly fighting not to be negative and depressed. Hear what he says in 2 Cor. 11: 21-28:

 "Let me but to my shame admit that for such things were too weak! ... (23) Are they ministers of Christ? And now I talk like I'm out of my mind; more! I worked harder, I was in prison, I was beaten more often, and I was often in a death. (24) Five times I received from the Jews the punishment received from thirty-nine lashes, three times I received corporal punishment and once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked, and once I had a day and a night spent in the open sea. (26) I was often travelling and was in danger; dangers from rivers, dangers from robbers, dangers of countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; dangers in the city, dangers in the field; dangers at sea, dangers among false brethren. (27) It was my hard work and hardship, often sleepless nights; often hungry and thirsty and often I was without food, without shelter or covering in the cold. (28) Above all, there is the daily pressure of my concern for all the churches. (29) Who is weak, I feel as if I too am weak; someone falls into sin, I feel as though I walk through the fire. (30) If there is to be praised, I will boast, but on my weaknesses. "

Later in 2 Cor. 11: 8 we read: "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. His answer was: 'My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in your weakness. "

Paul, probably the greatest disciple of Jesus we read about in the New Testament, had gone through inhuman hard times, but God has never left him; never abandoned him. Paul received "preferential treatment"! Like Daniel and his friends in the Old Testament, God did not take him away from his trials, but He went through Paul’s trials with him. God was always with Paul; God was always in control!

What is depression?

We've all heard that depression in today's terms be described as the "common cold" of mental disorders. Scientists claim that one in every 10 people will experience depression at one time or another. South Africa currently holds the seventh place in the world rankings where the prevalence of people with mood disorders is the highest.

Mood disorder, which is just another word for depression, is now the third leading cause of teen deaths in South Africa. 20% of our young people experience depression before they reach adulthood!

Unfortunately, depression is still not taken seriously enough. Many young people are under the impression that they themselves can handle the pressure in their lives, while others are under the misconception that depression is a sign of weakness; ‘you cannot handle the pressure!’

From elementary school children are expected to operate at the fast moving pace of the 21st century. And when the poor ‘bloedjie’ cannot cope he/she is regarded as a weakling or unintelligent.

Children today are no longer allowed to be just "child" and who must still be playing! Performance is all that matters. School children in grade 4 learn today what we older generation first learned in grade 9! Time to play no longer exists and the little spare time that there still may be, is spent on mobile phones, computer games and "I-pads".  No wonder young people stress themselves to death these days!

The tragedy of this is that most of our education leaders and parents are aware of this condition, but still nothing is done about this! Instead of helping their children and explain the dangers of this threatening disease, more and more child guidance therapists get appointed at schools. The proverbial pimple on the skin is treated and not the underlying cause.

According to doctors, there are different types of depression which some are caused by chemical imbalances in the brain, while others have a profound spiritual origin. For depression due to chemical imbalances in the brain there are excellent medications and therapy to control it. Depression caused by spiritual origin, medication alone is not sufficient and requires treatment by qualified specialists in this field. The problem remains that the disease is rarely diagnosed in time. By the time the teacher or parent or friend started to get worried, it's usually too late.

Depression is a complex mental illness requiring specialist attention. Too often it is simply regarded as part of the "puberty stage" or "mood swings". How often do you hear: "He / she is in one of his / her moods again!"

The most common form of depression, called "reactive depression" is caused by sudden uncontrollable changes in a person's life. These changes place the person under enormous pressure and leave him/her finally exhausted and burned out. 

Typical symptoms of depression are:

 An inability to perform

 Social withdrawal

 Lack of enthusiasm and energy

 Poor self-esteem

 Overreaction to criticism or negative comment about his / her behaviour

 Poor concentration

 Indecision

 Anxiety

 Helplessness

 Feelings of failure

 Guilt

Dear reader, if you notice any of these symptoms in yourself, or your child, or someone you know, please know that such person is already in a state of depression and that he / she needs urgent help.

Depression changes a Person.  

Proverbs 18: 14 say: "Courage makes one bear his suffering; when he gave up, no one can give." In the English translation says: "The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness, but who can bear a broken spirit?”

Anyone who was ever caught up in the woes of depression will tell you that depression changed him/her.  Whether it's for better or for worse, does not matter; one thing is certain, you will not be the same afterwards.

One of the best examples of depression in the Bible is found in the story of Job. Job lost his family and everything he owned. Satan struck Job with terrible boils, so that his friends did not even recognize him.

Job, sitting in sackcloth and ashes, talking to the three friends he had left, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar, said that he was convinced that even God had forsaken him. In Job 23 from verse 8 he says: "I go to the east, He is not there, to the west, I cannot find Him

Suicide

In a state of depression, it is impossible to think rationally. You can hardly see God, let alone the positive things around you. This is when you're at your most vulnerable to Satan's temptations! This is when it seems to you the only way out is suicide.

For anyone who is in a serious state of depression, there is nothing as easy as to put a gun to his / her head and to pull the trigger. Ask me, I know. When I went through this same hell I would not have thought twice to do so; it was simply the grace of our Lord Jesus that stopped me doing it!

My dear friend, suicide was never, and never will be the solution!

Just for a moment, imagine the infinite pain and suffering you cause to those who care about you, those who love you. If only you knew how many there are who want to help you to ensure you do not consider such a thoughtless act.

I thoroughly realizes that, at that moment, not even those who you love most matter to you. All you think about is only yourself. How you feel; how alone you are, how bad it is with you; how few others understand you; how few others know what you are going through.

Suicide is in fact an act of escape; it’s an act of selfishness! "Others can solve their own problems, I’m bailing out!  

However, never think of suicide as a cowardice act. Not at all! For any person who, under normal circumstances, will put the barrel of a gun to his head and pulls the trigger, will take a lot of courage!  

For the one who has committed suicide and has passed, it is actually very simple. All his/her problems are solved! But what about those who are left behind?  Think of the shock, sorrow, pain, suffering, remorse and grief you caused. Is that what you want to do? To destroy your own life but also the lives of those you love? Do you really want to do it to them?

If you know someone who needs help and who is so far gone to even consider suicide, in Heavens name, do not tell that person how bad things are with you! This is the very last thing that person wants to hear at that time. Instead of being with him / her, whining and "moping", do something actively. If necessary, take that person by the collar and drag him/her to the nearest doctor or hospital! There are people who are equipped with the necessary knowledge and skills to treat such cases. And remember, our doctors and nurses are also called by God to do their work, so He equipped them with the necessary skill and knowledge to help people in need.

People always say that the time of miracles is over, but the fact that God, who can heal me and you, also gave that ability to the doctors and nurses to heal us, is that not a miracle in itself? 

What does the Bible say about suicide?

In the Bible we read of suicide five times:

The first event is the death of Samson in Judges 16: 23-31. Samson found himself between two pillars of the temple of the Philistines, and cry out to God to give him the power that he could destroy the Philistines. God heard his prayer and many Philistines, including Samson, died when he broke the pillars with his brute strength and the building crashed on the Philistines. Nowhere in the Old Testament do we read that Samson was convicted for this "suicide".

Secondly, we read of King Saul, as we find in 1 Samuel 31: 1-13 and 1 Chronicles 10: 1-14. Saul is losing the battle and asked his swordsman to kill him rather than that he falls into the hands of his enemy alive. Saul's swordsman however refused and Saul was killed when he fell on his own sword. When the servant realized Saul was dead, he did the same. Again we read that no judgment was pronounced on them.

Thirdly, we read about Ahithophel in 2 Samuel 17: 23 Ahithophel had to advise Absolon, and when Absolon did not listen to his advice, he took his own life by drinking poison.

Fourthly, we read of King Zimri, who was known for the fact that he was just seven days King. Zimri was told that there were people in the city to kill him. He fled to a safe part of his house, and set it on fire and killed himself in the fire. The Bible speaks in several places of Zimri's sin, but his suicide is not a sin to be addressed.

Fifthly, we read of Judas who betrayed Jesus and then try to fix it by giving the money back to the priests. (Matt. 27: 3-10 and Acts 1: 12-20.) When he realized that he could not fix what he messed up, he hung himself. Judas's remorse was so great that he kill himself rather than to have to live with his remorse.

God has a plan for our lives. Jer. 29: 11 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord: prosperity and adversity; I want to give you 'a future, a hope!"

In Job. 23: 10, Job says: "When he hath tried me, I am pure as gold." In Psalm 27: 14, David said: "Trust in the Lord! Be strong and of good courage! Yes, trust in the Lord!

Dear reader, most of your feelings of hopelessness and despair is caused by Satan's lies.

When you are at your most vulnerable, that’s when Satan will tell you: "you are a failure; it's your fault that you are where you are right now; nobody can help you now; there is no one with a burden as heavy as yours.”

And then the biggest lie of all:" there is no hope for you! "

John. 8: 44 the apostle says: "He (the devil) was from the beginning a murderer. And he is not on the side of the truth, because there is no truth in him. "

Rom. 6: 21 Paul asks: "What was the result of the things you are now ashamed. (What did it bring for you?) The end of those things is death. "And then in verse 23 he says:" The wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. "

In 1 John. 3: 8 we read: "And the Son of God actually came to wreck the work of the devil."

Our lives belong to God and are not ours to do with as we see fit. As with so many people, especially young people, there is the total misconception today that: "This is my life, I will do with it what I want!" And if it that is not enough, there is the further mistake: "I can manage on my own, I do not need help!”

In 1 Cor. 6: 19 Paul writes: "... Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit? You have the Holy Spirit who dwells in you, by God, and ye are not your own; ye are bought and the price is Jesus. "

Dear friend, your life does NOT belong to yourself and you cannot manage it on your own!

Your life belongs to Christ, and you CAN NOT manage without His help!

Can someone who commits suicide go to heaven?

As early as the 5th century AD., the church father Augustine said that suicide is sin because “you are not allowed to kill." Later, one of the great leaders of the Catholic Church, Thomas Aquinas, went as far as claiming that suicide is one of the "deadly sins" (Cardinal sins) of this world.

Merely simply assuming that since the Ten Commandments says that “Thou shalt not kill”, at the same time also apply them to those who commit suicide, sounds to me pretty presumptuous!

I agree that our lives do not belong to ourselves but to God who gave us His life-giving Spirit. We therefore are not entitled to terminate our God-given life, ourselves. But to avert that suicide is a mortal sin, is simply nonsense!

In the Catholic faith, it is important that before a person dies, that the person receives forgiveness of sins. We often see the family summoning the Priest to administer the dying person’s “last rights" before the person dies. Since suicide means that such a person could not confess his/her sin before he / she committed suicide, it means that he died with all his sins and thus destined for eternal damnation.

In the Reformed faith we believe in the forgiveness of sin only through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and not by our good works. Even confession of sin without true faith in Jesus Christ is simply only lip service. (Ephesians 2: 8-9)

In Romans 8: 37-39, Paul says that nothing can separate us from the love of God. From verse 38 says: "Of this I am certain: neither death nor life, nor angels, or evil forces or present, or future events or forces nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, can separate is from the love of God there is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

The promise of 1 John. 5: 11-12, "... God has given us eternal life and this life is in his Son. He who has the Son has life; he, who not has the son of God, has no life.  This promise applies to all believers and not just for those who are not guilty of suicide! John. 10: 28 says: "I give them eternal life and they shall never perish. No one will snatch them out of My hand.

Yes, suicide may well be wrong, but it sure does not mean that a child of Christ will be condemned to eternal damnation simply because he/she comitted suicide. In other words, the question is not whether you will go to Hell because you committed suicide; question is whether you will go to Hell because you did not believe in Jesus Christ!

There is also no such thing as "big" and "small" sins. Sin is sin. There however exists forgivable and unforgivable (unpardonable) sin, in other words sin that does not lead to death and sin that does lead to death.

Suicide, my dear friend, is not a "mortal sin"!

John. 5: 24 Jesus said: "Truly I say to you: whoever hears My word and believes Him who sent Me has eternal life. And shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life.”

What an assurance!

Fortunately our churches are nowadays paying more attention to the psychopathology of suicide rather than the moral-ethical assessment of the illness.

What advice can we give someone suffering from depression?

I would say the following:

 Avoid loneliness. If it is necessary to force yourself (or the person who is depressed) but be as much in the company of good friends.

 Seek help! Talks to people that have gone the same way as you. Consult a specialist; talk to your doctor; talk to your minister; tell your family how you feel. Do not keep quiet!

 Seek God's help and trust and believe what He tells you. The Holy Spirit, that quiet voice inside you that must always scream to be heard, hear it and know (and believe) it is God speaking to you!

 Give yourself over to the protection of Jesus Christ. Become "don’t care!"!  Until now, you could not do much on your own, so why do not you just rely on Jesus to help you!

 Give your problem unconditionally to Jesus. He will ensure that your problems are solved! For nothing is impossible with God. Where your and my abilities stop, God’s abilities start.  To God, the impossible, is possible!

 Begin saying thank you to God because He is already working to help you, even if you cannot see it at this stage!

Conclusion

The good news is that depression is not incurable! Whatever it is called, and what degree of severity it may be, depression can be cured and overcome!

With the right support, professional treatment and proper medication, you do not need to go through all this Hell! 

Remember, God Himself and His whole universe at your disposal. All you have to do is to take Him at His word and ask for His help. He will not withhold His help from you!

God is in control of your life - you will recover - you will enjoy life again - you will be happy again!